I'll Never Leave You, Maxie
by Knight Mistress
Summary: Iggy has been there for Max his whole life. She could (and still can) count on him. And since she's realized this, her life has been a whole lot happier. Follow Max and Iggy, along with the entire Flock (excluding meanie-head Fang) in their adventures, because, honestly, their love life is a little crazy. Explosively crazy. 100 Max/Iggy drabbles.
1. Does Santa Come to Hospitals? Part One

**Disclaimer: I don't own Maximum Ride. **

To say that this Christmas was an excellent one would be a lie.

Not that it was bad or anything, but I think a better word to describe it would be interesting. Unique. Let's just say that something happened that none of us expected.

Like most of my stories start, this one began with Iggy fooling around. . . (Well, he never stops fooling around, so basically, all of my stories start with something like this.)

* * *

"Iggy, get that off of my head!"

I laughed and swatted at the bow he was trying to put on my hair. "Pick on someone your own size!"

"But you know I can't resist you, Maxie," he grinned and flicked at bow at the sound of my voice. It hit me square on the nose. "I could never resist you."

And out of his pocket came some mistletoe.

I rolled my eyes and smiled. "Keep that away from Total, I'm pretty sure it's poison—"

He leaned in for a kiss, cutting me off. However, our nice, romantic moment (with Iggy dangling mistletoe over our heads) was soon interrupted.

"Okay, okay, break it up you two," Angel instructed, pushing Iggy and I away. He stumbled back and dropped the mistletoe.

I groaned. Even though Angel was getting older, she was still the PDA police she was when she was younger.

"All right," Angel said, glaring at the two of us. "I am ashamed at both of you. You know Santa doesn't come when you are naughty. Shape up and act nice."

I stifled a laugh. "Sweetie, I think in this case, naughty means bad. Like, evil bad. Not, um, naughty."

"_He's making a list, checking it twice, going to find out who's naughty or nice!"_ Iggy sang off tune from beside me. I winced.

"Thank you Iggy, for that wonderful performance," Gazzy replied sarcastically from the doorway. He must have come down because Iggy's performance brought him here.

I don't blame him.

"See," I nudged Iggy on the shoulder. "Even Iggy knows the song; they just had to replace 'bad' with 'naughty' because it fits better."

"That's what she said," he whispered and I elbowed him in the ribs. "I mean, yes, yes of course. Naughty means bad," he added quickly with a grin. "Bad."

"Nope," she replied smugly. "I read Iggy's mind. Naughty, naughty, naughty."

I slapped Iggy on the arm playfully. "You know Santa doesn't give any presents to _naughty _boys, right Ig?"

"Maybe he'll make an exception for me," he replied airily. "But I've already gotten my gift this Christmas. ."

He wrapped an arm around me. "Merry Christmas Eve, Max," he said softly and kissed my forehead.

Gazzy made a retching sound from the doorway and Angel whacked his arm. Upstairs, Nudge yelled down, "Don't be inappropriate!"

"Geez," I groaned again. "Can't everyone take a break from this whole PDA thing? It's Christmas Eve!"

"Just think of all the ways we'll be able to get them back once they have boyfriends or a girlfriend, in Gazzy's case," Iggy winked. "It'll be hilarious!"

In response, we got a "you better not!" from Nudge, a "I'll never have a boyfriend!" from Angel and from Gazzy, well, let's just say he pretended to shoot himself.

And, as for Iggy and I, we just can't wait.

"Hey, did you guys make me a salad?" Total asked, waddling into the room to sniff the mistletoe Iggy had dropped. "I don't care for green things much, but this looks delicious!"

I spun around in horror just in time to see Total gobble up the mistletoe.

"Shit."

On Christmas Eve, too.

**A/N: And they're back! Poor Maxie, I really don't think this was how she planned spending Christmas Eve! **

**I don't know the schedule of my updates, if it will be every day, every other day or every couple days. But I just wanted to give everyone a holiday gift—Miggy all around! **


	2. Does Santa Come to Hospitals? Part Two

I'm pretty sure you understand why this was an, for lack of better words, _interesting_ Christmas.

Simply, we were in the pet hospital, waiting the news of what had befallen poor Total. Nudge and Gazzy had long fallen asleep, but Angel, Iggy and I were up, staring at the doors of the hospital on Christmas Eve.

"Maxie?" Angel asked sleepily, looking up with big, wide eyes. I squeezed her hand and waited the inevitable question: Will Total be okay?

Honestly? I had no idea. The only thing I really knew about mistletoe was that it was poisonous and that people kissed under. Had we brought Total here soon enough or was it too late?

But, instead, surprising me, she asked, "Does Santa come to hospitals?"

"Don't you worry about Santa," Iggy butted in quickly, saving me from answering. "He's probably visiting our house right now, why, I think that's him in the sky right now!"

He pointed out the window into the dark, cloudless sky towards a star that twinkled brighter than a usual star should.

"I see him!" Angel exclaimed quietly, pointing out into the darkness. "I see Santa! He's going in the direction of our house, right?"

I looked towards where she was pointing, and the bright star I had been looking at was half-way across the sky. I could feel my eyes getting wider and wider, like, well, a little kid on Christmas morning.

"Wow," I breathed, leaning forward. "It really is Santa."

_Santa, if that really is you, please, please let Total be all right. I wouldn't be able to bear living without him, even if he does drive me crazy. It would be a great gift for the whole Flock. _

I scrunched up my face in concentration and added with a smile,

_We really haven't asked for much, you know. Nudge would be happy with some new nail polish (it's flammable, you know), and I think Gazzy would be okay with just a few more bomb making materials (string, nail polish, the works). Angel? She's happy with Celeste and I think it would just make her Christmas for Total to be all right. I'm happy if the Flock's happy, don't get me anything this year. _

_Just—if you have to bring something, don't bring Erasers. _

_And Iggy? Well, we can't forget about him. I hope he's happy, because I don't know what he wants. Maybe the same as Gazzy. But I think he's happy with what he has: (not to be self-centered or anything) me. And I'm thankful for him too. So thanks Santa, for the early gift. Thank you. _

"Wow Maxie, you okay? You're awfully quiet over there." Iggy grinned, reaching over Angel to awkwardly pat me on the arm.

"Better than okay," I smiled and I knew it would be all right. Somehow, I just knew. I don't know how, maybe Christmas magic? But I knew, in my heart, that Total would be all right, that Iggy and I would be okay and the Flock would be great as well.

Just as the light disappeared from the sky (Santa?) the doors burst open and the head doctor smiled down at us.

"Seems like luck is on your side, huh kids?"

Angel burst out of her chair and ran up to the man, giving him a great big hug. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

"Not me," he said with a wink, looking down at Angel. "I didn't think he'd make it at first. But then, half-way through the operation, I just felt this feeling. I dunno, maybe it caused me to work harder, but I was able to save him after that."

Iggy grinned, his milky eyes sparkling. He leaned over the seat to give me a kiss on the cheek.

"Thanks Santa," he whispered, directing his head towards the window and I smiled and added,

"Yeah, thanks."

He had truly saved us this year. We had Total back and safe, everyone was happy (or so I thought) and I got the best present of all:

Iggy.

**A/N: Merry Christmas everyone! With a little bit of magic, miracles really can happen! **


	3. Not the Thermostat!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Maximum Ride, sadly. **

"Dammit, it's cold," I muttered, wrapping my arms around myself, hopping out of bed as quickly as possible to my closet. "Cold, cold, cold."

I grabbed a sweatshirt and put it on with inhuman speed (as, to some, I am considered "inhuman") and raced out of the room. What was the temperature in here? I could almost see my breath!

By the time I got downstairs, I could see that the rest of the Flock was already there; they looked just as cold as I am and obviously wanted to get warmer, since they were gathered around the thermostat.

"Why is it so cold?" I managed, rubbing my hands up and down my arms in an attempt to get warmer. "Because, seriously, I like being warm."

Iggy wrapped me in his arms as Gazzy tapped at the thermostat, teeth chattering. We all looked at him expectantly, and he sighed.

"It's broken and I don't know how to fix it," he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck.

"We've noticed," Nudge commented drily, tapping at the thermostat. "Igs, do you know?"

"Well, if I could see it. . ." he trailed off sheepishly and grinned. "In all seriousness, I do remember something like this happening at the E-house, but Jeb took care of it." He paused. "At least, I think so."

"With our luck, Fang probably fixed it," Gazzy grouched, shivering. "Now we're all going to freeze, die, then freeze again."

"You can't freeze after death," Angel pointed out sleepily. "You're already dead."

I glared at Gazzy. "We're not going to die from a bit of cold. I've got a plan."

"Oh no," Iggy whispered to Gazzy, who grinned. I thwacked them both on the back of the head.

"Nudge, Gazzy, you two go upstairs to get all the blankets from everyone's rooms. Iggy, you go into the kitchen and get some chairs—"

"Why are you sending the blind guy into the kitchen?" He complained.

"Just do it." I growled, sending him a look that he couldn't see.

He held his hands up. "Okay, okay. Chairs it is, Maxie."

"Angel, you and I are going into the living room to pop in a movie. We're going to build a fort."

"Yes!" She cheered, pumping her fists up in the air, then shivered, and added quietly, "A fort!"

I wrapped my arms around her body and led her into the kitchen, shouting to everyone, "Battle stations, now!"

"With that tone of voice, you'd think she'd be in the army," Gazzy muttered to Nudge and I snorted from the living room. I was a strong, independent Maxie who didn't need no army to be loud.

Anyway, from the living room, Angel decided on _The Polar Express. _It was a favorite of all of ours and even though Christmas was over, we didn't have the chance to watch it until now.

I gave Angel a blanket off the couch and went to go help Iggy move the chairs into the living room. Soon, we had the skeleton for our fort and Iggy went off to make some popcorn.

In a few more minutes, Nudge and Gazzy brought an armload of blankets down, and the remaining Flock and I began to make our fort. With the help of a few dictionaries and some duct tape, we were all set and ready to go.

Iggy brought over three bowls of popcorn and I grinned. It would probably be gone in the first few minutes of the movie. We all clamored into the fort and got comfortable, and Angel turned on the movie.

The next few minutes were silent except for the movie and the occasional sound of crunching popcorn. I gave Iggy small peck on the cheek and he wrapped his arm around me.

"Commander Maxie," he whispered, quiet enough that only I could hear. "I like the sound of that."

I smiled and melted into his embrace in a very un-leader-like way. It seemed that the breaking of the thermostat wasn't such a bad thing after all.

. . .I take that back. I still hate the cold.


	4. Demons Speak Spanish? Part One

"BY THE FIRST FIRE AND THE FIRST BLOOD OF THE NEW YEAR, I COMMAND THEE TO RISE AND RECOGNIZE ME AS THY MASTER."

The things I wake up to in this house.

I groaned and rolled over into my pillow. I just needed a few more minutes of sleep before I went to go deal with this. Honestly, couldn't the Flock stop with their antics in the mornings? At night, go ahead. I was awake then, but not now.

"Um, Maxie?" A voice said urgently through my door. "We seriously need you, like now. Iggy, well, you need to get up and see this for yourself."

"Let me sleep," I grumbled. "It can't be that bad. Iggy's just watching Supernatural again or something; tell him to turn it down."

"No," she stretched out that word as my door clicked and opened. "Iggy seems to be conjuring a. . demon of sorts. We can't get into his room: Gazzy can't pick the lock and Angel can only tell us so much."

I shot straight out of bed to see the rest of the Flock staring down at me. "You've got to be kidding me."

Angel filled my mind with what was happening in Iggy's room. He was dressed in black robes and there was some sort of circle around him. He was reading a book in braille and chanting in a language that sounded strangely like Spanish.

"Fudge," I swore softly and Nudge raised her eyebrows. I scowled. "What would you like me to say?"

She shrugged and I hustled them out the door. "C'mon, we have to go save Iggy from whatever he's conjuring."

Nudge and Gazzy continued on, but Angel stopped to pull on my sleeve.

"What, Ange?"

"You realize he won't actually be able to conjure anything, right? He doesn't have the right materials and he's chanting in Spanish, I think."

"And how would you know what materials are needed for conjuring?" I teased and grinned. "Let's go pretend to protect Iggy, how about that? We'll keep this between us, okay? We don't need Iggy knowing that he can't be a wizard when he grows up, now can we?"

"I think we should tell him," Angel argued softly, pulling my arm so that we were in front of Iggy's room. "Then he'll know that he can't do magic and never do it again."

I grinned. "If we told him, he would probably try to find the right way to conjure something and get deep in black magic or something. It's best if we pretend that he's doing this right and he'll never make some real demon come and get us."

Angel shrugged. "If that's what you think is best."

Suddenly, the whole floor shook.

I grabbed onto Angel and slid to the floor, covering her with my body as pictures clattered to the floor.

"Nudge, Gazzy, where the heck are you?" I shouted over the roar of the quake.

"We're here!" I heard a faint reply from the living room.

And just as quickly as it started, it stopped.

"You two okay?" I called as I helped Angel up and surveyed the damage done. Other than a few things falling off the ways, nothing had been seriously ruined.

They came up the stairs, wide-eyed and didn't say anything, just looked at Iggy's room in shock.

_He couldn't have, he was chanting in Spanish! _I thought immediately, knowing what Nudge and Gazzy were thinking.

Turning to Angel to confirm that we were still right, she looked at me with a scared expression and said the exact words that I didn't want to hear:

"I can't believe he managed to do it."

**A/N: Wow Iggy, conjuring demons? That's not very nice.**


	5. Demons Speak Spanish? Part Two

**Disclaimer: I don't own Maximum Ride. **

My eyes widened. "How-how. . .?" I stuttered, completely lost for words. And honestly? I'm _never_ lost for words. Well, never is such a strong word. I guess "rarely" fits better, since I didn't know what to say a few seconds ago.

. .Er, never mind all that. There's a bigger problem right now: Iggy has managed to summon a demon using crude Spanish and fake incantations. How? I have no idea. But I did know that we had to save him from whatever he brought into this world.

"Iggy?" I said after we all got over our initial shock. "We need to talk."

"Those words make you remember every bad thing you've ever done," a muffled voice responded from inside his room. "But yes, come in. I'll unlock the door."

I can't say I knew what to expect when he unlocked the door, but I will say, I would _never_ have expected this.

Iggy was wearing a black cloak-fashion-conscious Nudge turned up her nose at that-but on his shoulder, was the so-called "demon" he summoned.

Now, let's just clarify a few things. When I say demon, you immediately think of something dark and dangerous, with glowing red eyes and sharp teeth that could kill you in an instant.

You don't think of a pink, fluffy ball of fur that looks like it came out of an anime, right?

Neither do I. Needless to say, this is why we all stood in the doorway with different expressions on our faces.

Me? More shock, confusion and surprise. Nudge and Angel? They thought it was cute. Gazzy? Looked like he was going to throw up, but he always looks like that, no need to worry.

"Aww, it's so cute!" Nudge exclaimed happily, reaching out to pet its furry, pink head, which apparently, was a bad idea, for the fluffy demon bit down on her hand.

And when it smiled-with Nudge's hand in its mouth, mind you-I could see rows, after rows of sharp teeth.

"Nudge!" Angel shrieked and I got down into a fighting stance.

"What, what happened?" Iggy asked, wide-eyed. "Mr. Cuddles! What did you do?"

"You're going down, demon," I snarled and sent a round-house kick to its furry little face. Its eyes-widen and it let go of Nudge's arm, shrinking back from me.

"Send it back," I growled to Iggy, looking at Nudge's arm. Surprisingly, the bites didn't do much damage (how?) and I sent the three kids downstairs to wrap up her arm.

"But Maxie," he said. "Don't you see? This is the key to the world." He held up Mr. Cuddles triumphantly over his head and grinned. "We could be king and queen of the universe." His eyes sparkled happily.

I whacked him on the back of the head and tried to knock some sense in him.

"Fine, fine," he wheezed and hustled me out the door. "I'll send him back, I'll send him back."

After I was in front of his door, I could hear him mutter, "Max has never really appreciated world domination like us, Mr. Cuddles. Unfortunately, I have to send you back now."

A few Spanish chants and some incantations later, the demon was gone and Iggy was outside his room, looking at me apologetically.

"Sorry Maxie," he admitted quietly. "I thought you'd like to be queen of the world for our two year anniversary. I realize now that it probably isn't the best idea."

I grinned and tackled him in a bear hug. "Under difference circumstances, it would be lovely," I said into his shoulder. "It's the thought that counts, and I appreciate it."

I let go of his hug and smiled at him, knowing what he was thinking. "But this does not mean you can bring Mr. Cuddles back."

He kissed my hair and led me downstairs, whispering, "Now why would you think I would do that?"

I shrugged and mentally reminded Angel to grab his English to Spanish dictionary when she went upstairs.

**A/N: Thank you to all my reviewers! I appreciate each and every review, favorite or story alert! Thanks so much!**


	6. The Kissing Booth

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Maximum Ride. D: **

**Important! This is AU, no wings and Iggy can see, so it doesn't really tie in with any of the previous ****drabbles. **

I sighed and massaged my forehead slowly, trying to look as mean as possible. (Which wasn't that hard.) Nobody wanted to kiss a girl who was angry and looked rude, would they?

Yes, yes, you read that correctly, even if you did have to go back and read it a couple times. I, Maximum Ride, was running a kissing booth.

. . .Now that you've probably stopped laughing, I'm going to tell you exactly how I got into this mess. It's quite simple really, my friend Nudge was running this booth, Angel-little sister-and I come along, Angel wants to play a game with Nudge and steals her away, leaving me with the booth. Needless to say, they haven't returned and I'm convinced they're not going too until I get a kiss of some sort.

I'd rather be horrifically experimented on and given wings, which is saying something.

Anyway, here I was, looking as sour as I could possible manage, glaring at anyone who passed by the booth. People glanced at me, slightly horrified and stayed out of my way. Thank goodness.

"Hello ma'am," a sly voice interrupted me out of my intense glaring session. "I'd like to buy a kiss, how much?"

I turned to glare at the strawberry-blonde who wanted my attention. "One billion dollars," I snapped. "You want a kiss, pay up."

He shrugged good-naturedly and smiled. "Sorry miss, can't afford that. I'll have to raise the money and come back." He winked and started to walk away from my booth.

"You do that," I growled, happy that he went away and continued glaring with more intensity the other people at the carnival. Apparently, that guy wasn't scared enough to avoid my stand, so I would have to work extra hard to keep everyone else away.

And guess what? A few minutes later, that kid came back, holding a piece of paper with the words, "one billion dollars" written on it.

My eyes widened in shock. In all honesty, I thought I had gotten rid of that kid-a billion dollars is basically impossible to do in one day (or even in a couple hours, I'd probably be gone by then.) But this guy had managed to find a clever loop-hole and I had to give him a kiss in return.

Great. Just great.

"Here you go," he said, grinning and slid me the piece of paper. I scowled and grabbed it out of his hand and set it on the table.

"Guess I owe you a kiss," I said, rolling my eyes, leaning in. "Let's make it quick, okay?"

"Aw, now why would we do that?" He chuckled, leaning in as well to press his lips against mine. My eyes fluttered open and closed again, living in the moment.

_Wow._

He pulled away after a few seconds and smiled genuinely.

"That was nice," I admitted and smiled along with him. "But it'll still cost you another billion dollars for another one."

"I think I can manage that," he informed me and saluted. "See you in a few minutes. Got to raise some more money."

I looked down at the "billion dollars" he had already given me and flipped it over in my hands. On the back was scribbled,

_Iggy, at your service_. _I'll be back in a few._

I sighed happily at his note, wondering how I could feel this way when only a few minutes ago I would rather be experimented on than kissed. Strange, isn't it?

A boy lingered in front of my booth; he had obviously seen the kiss Iggy and I had shared and wanted one. I shook my head and mouthed "no", glaring. He looked down at his feet and walked away. I almost felt bad rejecting him, but I knew no kiss would ever live up to the one (or possible ones) that Iggy and I had/would share.

I couldn't wait for him to come back.


	7. Friendly Smiles All Around

**Disclaimer: I don't own Maximum Ride. **

"I don't want to mow the lawn, Maxie," Iggy whined, with his failed attempted at Bambi eyes. "It's hard, physical work and there are better things to do with my life."

"Like what?" I asked, crossing my arms and smiling. "What could possibly be more important than mowing the lawn?"

"Well," he stretched out the word. "I could get a job and bring in some money."

I flashed the Max card in front of his face, even though he couldn't see it. "I've got it covered, Igs. Max card, remember?"

He sighed. "Always ruining my dreams, aren't you?"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Continue on."

He snorted. "Why, aren't you just a bundle of sunshine today?" I guess he could feel the glare that I sent at him, because he added very quickly, "I could go to college and major in home economics."

"You're already good at cooking and doing home-ish stuff," I commented. "Anything else you want to add before you mow the lawn? You're going to do it, no matter what."

"I could win a Nobel Peace Prize. . .?" He offered weakly and I shook my head.

"Nope, try again."

". . .Teach Total to be a bit less. . um, crazy?"

"Not possible."

"Wait, wait, I've got it!" Iggy grinned and it was his turn to cross his arms. "What if I could change your mind? Like, you know, with a. . ." He paused and wiggled his eyebrows. "Friendly smile?"

I laughed. "I'll take a friendly smile any day, hit me with it, Iggy."

"Okay," he did a little dance. "Just got to warm up." He shook out his body. "You ready, for this Maxie? I do believe you'll be in for a nice surprise."

I nodded and raised my eyebrows, getting ready for his "friendly smile." Finally, he smiled at me, batting his eyelashes like a lovesick puppy.

He's my lovesick puppy, though.

I leaned in to peck him on the cheek. "Thanks Iggy, I found than rather friendly of you."

Iggy grabbed my arm and pulled me in for a deeper kiss, dipping me like people did when they were dancing the tango. I half expected him to pull out a rose from his shirt and put it between his teeth.

"But hey, a friendly smile won't get you out of mowing the lawn," I said slyly, pulling him in for a hug when he brought me back up. "I need a super-mega-awesome-friendly smile."

"I can do that," he winked and pulled me in for another kiss. (My, someone was being romantic today.) After he was done, he gave me his most charming smile.

I laughed and ran my fingers through his hair. "I guess that's good enough. I suppose I won't make you mow the lawn." I sighed and added, "Today, anyway."

"I bet you didn't make me mow the lawn because I'm lovely and irresistible, right?" He winked as I led him back into the house.

"No, you're blind, Iggy, if you haven't forgotten. Which would make it harder, but it would give the Flock and I a good laugh to see you struggle." I teased as we got inside. "But I did like the friendly smile."

"You wound me with your cruelness!" Iggy replied, dramatically placing his hand on his heart. "But I shall ignore it, since you are the one I love. You can get all the friendly smiles you want," he said, squeezing my hand. "As long as you don't make me ever mow the lawn."

"I can do that," I replied, hugging him around the shoulders. "But just know you'll have to give me a lot of smiles to keep that promise."

**A/N: Sorry for waiting so long to update, I've had a ton of school work lately and been quite busy. Hopefully, the next update will come a bit sooner! **


	8. In Which Iggy Goes Quote Crazy

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Maximum Ride. D:**

**I'll do a bit of a contest here. Whoever can guess all of the books/movies gets to pick a topic for a drabble. (I will write literally everything. [T-rated or less, mind you.])**

Apparently, it's a problem in this household if you manage to sleep it.

Which is why I woke up to Iggy staring down at me creepily.

I shrieked and scrambled back onto my bed. This is not the thing I want to see when I first wake up.

"I watch you when you sleep," he smirked and poked me on the nose. "Technically, I just blankly stare at you, but the line is 'I watch you when you sleep'. Just wanted to be accurate. And creepy. I hate those books and I hate the movies. I don't even know why I'm here, Maxie."

He ran out of the room giggling and I rolled over in my bed. Maybe I would get to sleep in for a few more minutes.

* * *

Nope.

This time, I managed to walk up to Iggy screaming in the hallway, "DISHONOR ON YOU, DISHONOR ON YOUR COW!"

And Angel replying with, "I don't have a cow! It's a horse!"

I bolted out of my bed. With the whole bacon incident last year, I really didn't need more farm animals in my house.

When I opened the door, I found the lovely sight of Angel whacking Iggy with her plush horse, while he was singing a song about flossing your teeth, probably something from her favorite show, _Arthur. _

I need to get these people tested.

* * *

Today was not my day. Or morning, actually.

I had moved to the couch to supervise while I tried to get some sleep done. With the strange events that had already happened this morning, I was rather concerned with everyone's well-being.

"Wow, Gazzy," Iggy said sarcastically. "It's LeviOsa, not LevioSA."

"Oh yeah?" He shot back. "Prove how this can help us make bacon."

"No real pigs!" I shouted sleepily from the living room, hoping that they hadn't already gotten the pigs. Fingers crossed, anyway.

"Wingardium Leviosa!"

"Iggy, put that bacon down _right now! _You're holding it with your hands, it's not flying," Gazzy accused.

I groaned and put the pillow over my head.

* * *

I have finally given up the dream of being able to sleep in. The sacrifices I make for my flock.

"You need to learn, Nudge, that there's only _one_ ring to rule them all!"

"But I want to wear both rings! Is that so wrong?"

I marched straight up to Nudge's room-of course, it was Iggy causing trouble again. "What's so bad about wearing two rings, Ig?"

He laughed and pulled me into a hug. "And darkness bind them. . . or us, rather," he whispered into my ear before disappearing into the hallway.

What if I didn't want to be bound by darkness? Wait, never mind. Sleep equaled darkness.

Darkness and I were officially bound.

* * *

"Iggy," I said firmly. "This strangeness has to stop. You're being really, really weird."

"I DO WHAT I WANT," he shouted happily, raising his arms over his head. "Like this!"

He pulled me in for a kiss and I smiled, forgetting that I was supposed to be yelling at him until he let me go.

"Ig-" I started dangerously, but he interrupted me.

"Then shawarma after."

**A/N: So, yep, whoever can guess all five movies/books** **gets to pick the topic for my next drabble! I hope they aren't too hard, I tried to pick some popular movies. (That are all my favorites, except the first one, but that one was funny, haha.) **


	9. 50 Shades of Iggy

**Disclaimer: Nope. I don't own Maximum Ride. *le sob**

**I hope you've all realized that this has nothing to do with 50 Shades of Grey. I couldn't help myself, sorry, this is in no way, shape or form M rated. Just me trying to be funny. :) **

**Also, this is 50 facts about Iggy. There will be a companion piece called 50 Shades of Maxie. **

1. Iggy is, well, Iggy. He's the blind, pyromanic chef who is my second-in-command and, er, how do they say it? "Love interest."

2. Calls me Maxie because it bothers me.

3. . . .He likes to bother me. It's not very nice.

4. Last Fourth of July, he almost set the house on fire with his "fireworks".

5. His hair is strawberry blonde, which I don't quite understand. It's not blonde or strawberry colored, so I think he's secretly a ginger and dyed his hair.

6. Iggy told me that his favorite color that he can remember is red. Obviously, the color of explosions.

7. His smiles are very friendly.

8. He hates chicken pot pie because it is, in his own words, "not a true pie."

9. . .Therefore, he never cooks it.

10. He also hates Total. Thinks he's a nuisance but won't dare to think or say that in front of Angel.

11. Last St. Patrick's Day, he hid in the forest and pretended to be a leprechaun so Angel could look for a rainbow. Needless to say, she didn't buy it and Iggy almost had to go to the emergency room.

12. His eyes are a cloudy blue. I remember they used to be very pretty.

13. Hates to mow the lawn.

14. Iggy is very lazy. _Very _lazy.

15. Likes to wake me up in the mornings and tell me useless things.

16. Once, he tried to prank Nudge by filling her shampoo bottles with hair removal. I say "tried" because after we bought Nudge a wig, Iggy. . well, all I can say without getting too graphic is that Iggy was never the same again.

17. And by that, I mean he had a couple of broken bones, nothing too serious.

18. May I mention that Iggy's a drama queen?

19. He's obsessed with _"Here Comes Honey Boo Boo."_

20. Tries to make everyone else watch it as well.

21. He's scared of Halloween costumes, therefore, he is very easy to prank.

22. Actually, I have no idea why he's even scared of costumes because he can't even see them.

23. Patronizes me often. I usually beat him up for it.

24. Favorite board game is Monopoly. (Likes to use the, "I'm blind and I didn't know that you had a house there!" excuse.)

25. Least favorite board game is Jenga.

26. Loves pigs.

27. Rather, he loves the bacon they create. When he was younger, he and Gazzy took some from the petting zoo and tried to make them into bacon.

28. He gets sad when playing Angry Birds because he believes he is killing bacon.

29. Favorite times to fly are sunset and sunrise. Those are my favorites as well.

30. His favorite movie is _"Mean Girls,"_ for reasons unknown.

31. Iggy wishes he had Angel's power to read and project images with his mind. I shudder at the thought of what he would do with that power.

32. Says he loves to wake me up in the morning because he loves to see my face.

33. I know that's a lie because he's blind.

34. He got caught at a restaurant putting soda into a water cup and, like always, played the blind card.

35. "But mister, I am just a poor, innocent blind boy. I had no idea that this wasn't water! Oh, what sir? You don't believe me? Hold up some fingers, and I'll tell you how many there are. Four. . .? I was right?! Seriously sir, I am blind!"

36. Needless to say, his excuses didn't work. At all.

37. Says Braille is too hard to learn and therefore has never learned to read.

38. He does appreciate audio books, however.

39. Iggy loves to give bear hugs.

40. His favorite place to kiss me is on the forehead. (Or so I've guessed.)

41. He loves to go into the forest and just relax. Sometimes we lay on the grass by the creek for a couple of hours.

42. He hates the city because all the sights and sounds are overwhelming.

43. He does wish he had his sight back though, because he'd love to see it.

44. We pranked him another time and put tar and feathers on his arms and legs when he fell asleep on the couch. He couldn't get it off for a week, which means we must have used very strong tar.

45. He says that incident has traumatized him so much that he is scared of chickens.

46. His favorite smell is "my morning breath".

47. . . .He just told me he was kidding and that his favorite smell was freshly cut grass. (But he won't go to the trouble of cutting it just to smell it. He's lazy.)

48. Iggy's favorite food to make is pasta of any kind. Sometimes, he gets a little too creative and it turns out rather strange.

49. He likes to go sledding when it snows. His favorite game while doing that is appropriately titled, "Let's-see-how-long-I-can-go-before-hitting-something-because-I-can't-see-where-I'm-going." Bonus points if he makes it all the way down the hill unscathed.

50. His favorite series of audio books is _"50 Shades of Grey."_ I hate those books.

**A/N: All right! 50 facts down, 50 more next time! I would like to say the winners of the contest are BrnThnRevenge and Black Streak! Since BrnThnRevenge answered correctly first, I will do your drabble first, but both will be down. :) Hit me with your ideas! **


	10. 50 Shades of Maxie

**Disclaimer: Still don't own Maximum Ride. *frowny face* **

**Companion piece to 50 Shades of Iggy. Written in Iggy's point of view and this is again, in no way, shape or form, M-rated. **

1. Maxie is the leader of our little gang, also known as the Flock.

2. Actually, we aren't a gang. If we were, we'd be able to wear cool leather jackets and get piercing and tattoos and stuff.

3. Speaking of tattoos, she won't let us redeem our free tattoo coupons until we are older, even though I'm obviously old enough.

4. Anywho, her favorite drink is the blood of her enemies.

5. Even though I can't see her, as far as I'm concerned, she has the prettiest auburn/light brown hair with chocolate eyes, which may or may not be barfed chocolate.

6. I'm just kidding. . . ha. . ha. . (please don't hurt me.)

7. Her "favorite movie" is _Clash of the Titans. _

8. Her actual favorite movie is _Beauty and the Beast. _I like that one better because _Clash of the Titans _is scary.

9. She hates the color pink but loves the color black. _The color of death and destruction._

10. But also the color of skunks, panthers, ink, er, nighttime, but I don't like to include that one because I don't like the dark.

11. Funny thing is, our fantastic leader hates the dark as well. Shh.

12. Max wants to go to Australia one day because she's convinced it's the warmest country in the world.

13. She doesn't know how to drive.

14. One time, when she pretended to know how to drive, we got pulled over. Instead of handing the officer her license, she handed him a McDonald's coupon and drove off into the sunset.

15. We managed to escape by leading the police into the woods. And since Max doesn't know how to drive, we hit a couple trees.

16. She has a tumblr. I don't know what her url is because she won't tell me.

17. And she's always doing some crazy things with that. One day, she wrote everything down instead of speaking, because she "wrote" that it was an experiment for that website. I'm still convinced she was just pretending to be Fangles.

18. Her favorite smell is the scent of victory.

19. But she loves the smell of roses, old books and spring as well.

20. Max always tells us she doesn't sing. . .

21. Liar, liar, pants on fire.

22. We recorded her in the bathroom once and put it on youtube. It got over a million views before she smashed the computer to pieces.

23. Did you know it's hard to steal a computer? Max had it fit it under her shirt like a baby.

24. . .Just kidding, again. Ha. . ha. She would _never_ do that, I swear.

25. Oh, I know this is supposed to be about Max and all, but if you haven't noticed, I get distracted often. So I just wanted to tell you that I can type this because Nudge programed my computer to talk in Max's voice.

26. Don't tell Max that.

27. She sleeps with a teddy bear she has fondly named, "Furry Bear."

28. "Furry Bear" is untouchable. You touch him, you die. FOREVER.

29. Her favorite animals include tigers, sharks and panthers.

30. Plus, she also likes naked mole rats because she feels bad that they're naked.

31. Her favorite time to fly is at night, among the stars.

32. She doesn't write poetry.

33. Max loves the fog. She says it's "so mysterious, dark and dangerous."

34. I swear she doesn't write poetry.

35. I don't know what kind of music she generally listens too, but I know it's none of the stuff Nudge listens too.

36. The only reason why she hates worms is because Gazzy split one in half and showed her that it was still alive since it had two hearts or something.

37. I am not partial to worms myself.

38. A word to describe Maxie would not be sexy or hot or anything like that, it would probably be beautiful or pretty, because that's what she is.

39. She would care to disagree, but I think we can agree to disagree.

40. After the incident with Fang, both of us hate Skype, Oovoo and anything else that lets you talk on the computer. Pure evil, I'd say.

41. When given sugar, she get's a bit crazy. Like one time, she said, "Better close the door, Igs. We don't want the unicorns to come in. Those crazy boogers."

42. Since she is most probably going to read this later, I will say this, "Um, again, don't hurt me. I _had_ to tell the readers something about you and I was running out of ideas."

43. Also, when she gets super sleepy, she acts like she's drunk. Today, she decided that she would wake up at 6:07 a.m. instead of 6:05 a.m. because she believed that six and seven were in love with each other.

44. Which shouldn't be true, because six was scared of seven, since seven "eight" nine. When I told her this, she threw a pillow at my handsome face.

45. I've got something great planned for this Valentine's Day. I can't tell you what it is now; that would ruin the surprise, but I can tell you, Maxie's going to be so excited.

46. She doesn't wear much jewelry except for the necklace I gave her. It's a half of a heart and when put together with mine, it makes a whole heart. I think her's says, "Be Frie."

47. If you're confused, mine says, "st ends."

48. Anyway, I've got to wrap this up soon, so I'll tell you this: Max hates to talk on the telephone and makes me answer every single call. Or Nudge or Gazzy or Angel. Sometimes even Total.

49. Secretly, she loves Dance Dance Revolution but she's just jealous she can't beat a blind guy's high score.

50. Well, I have to say that even though Max isn't perfect, she is obviously the one for me. She's nice (most of the time) and pretty and smart, and a great friend, leader and girlfriend. (Soon to be wife. Shh. . I could say just kidding here, for Max's sake, but. . .)

**A/N: Wow Iggy, dropping a hint at the end there! Sorry for the late update, by the way, I'll try to update sooner next time. Also, Black Streak, you can still request a drabble! :) **


	11. Don't Hesitate, Blame Total! Part One

**BtrThnRevenge, I know this isn't what you meant. But when the plot bunnies come, well, I can't stop them. I promise to make it cute and fluffy in a romantic sense as well as a bunny sense as well. :) **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Maximum Ride. **

"I want a bunny."

"No."

"Aww, c'mon Maxie! Just one or two!"

I shook my head and grabbed his arm. "No. We already have Total and three kids at home. We don't need anymore pets."

He frowned. "You can't consider Nudge, Gazzy, and Angel as pets! That's child cruelty."

"I can, and I will," I snapped back, pulling him behind me. "The only reason we came here is to get dog food, not an extra mouth to feed."

"Technically speaking," Iggy mused out-loud. "Angel, Gazzy and Nudge are like our foster children. . ."

I pinched the bridge of my nose as I grabbed a bag of dog food off the shelf. "No, they are not our children! We're a family, but we're not the mom and dad."

Iggy grinned. "Yet."

I smacked him on the arm as we reached the check-out line. "Stop that," I ordered as he tried to get some gum off the rack. "We don't need any gum either."

"Wow Max," he said, swooping down to kiss my head. "You sure are acting a lot like a mom today. You got a bun in the oven?" He rubbed my stomach and I swatted his hand away.

"The only 'bun' I'm putting in the oven is Total," I grouched. "If it wasn't for him, than we wouldn't be here in the first place."

Thinking back, I couldn't help but realize that I should have been more attentive while we paid for our food. If I was, than I could have stopped the woman behind us whip out her phone and call the police.

If I was more attentive, than we probably wouldn't be in this mess right now.

* * *

We were at home, when the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it!" Nudge cried out, jumping from her seat to race towards the door. I rolled my eyes as I filled Total's bowl with the new dog food I got.

"Wow Max," he wrinkled his nose as he sniffed the food. "Couldn't you buy something that has . . ." he looked up at me with distaste. "Better quality?"

I scowled. "Be thankful I'm feeding you."

"Don't worry," Iggy said with a wink. "I've got you covered, Total."

I was about say something extremely witty (naturally) when Nudge ran in, her face as white as if she'd seen a ghost.

"Max, there's someone who wants to see you," she whispered, eyes wide. "They say that they're arresting you and Iggy for attempted murder."

Standing up, I grabbed Iggy's arm and dragged him to the front door, where two policeman stood, their arms crossed.

"How can we help you, officer?" I said weakly.

"We here to arrest you two," he gestured to both of us. "For an attempted murder of someone named, er, 'Total.' You were overheard at the pet store saying that you would put him in the oven," he and his partner slapped some handcuffs on our wrists. "You're comin' with us."

**A/N: Will they manage to convince the officers that they are innocent? That Total is really a mutated talking dog with wings that never shuts-up? Tune in to the next issue of, "I'll Never Leave You, Maxie!" **


End file.
